Dangle Days Weekend Recap Featuring The Sauce Of The Year
I threw this goal on a blog from Thursday but this is a sauce so nice that I’ll blog it twice. The Grand Rapids Griffins of the AHL making some serious noise in the Dangle World. Matthew Ford with the flick of the wrist, and then good ol’ South Jersey boy Kyle Criscuolo there to blast it home before it even touched the ice. The AHL may want to send this clip to the NBA to teach those bastards how to not travel 50 times a game. But for real, this was an outrageously filthy play from start to finish. I think I’ve watched this loop a total of 107 times and it still puts my brain into a pretzel every time. Feel like the laws of physics shouldn’t allow this to happen, yet here we are.
Anyway, let’s get on to the rest of the show here. It’s Monday. Life sucks. Work sucks. Your favorite football team probably sucks. But Dangles never suck and they’re always here for you.
Nathan MacKinnon Goes Hulk Mode
The Avs are on the powerplay. MacKinnon is probably looking to just take this one to the outside, let the boys get set up and see if they can make anything happen in the final 50 seconds of the man advantage. But then Komarov decides to catch him with a stick to the face and all bets are off. You piss Nathan MacKinnon off like that and he’s going to shove it down your throat. So he goes Hulk Mode, cuts to the inside, flips everybody’s edges and then completely ruins Antoine Bibeau’s NHL debut in net. Poor kid didn’t even see it coming. Better luck next time.
Whydijya Wanna Play Cawlidge Hawkey?
“Isn’t it obvious? For the dangles, of course” – Tage Thompson. The St. Louis Blues 1st round draft pick currently getting his filth on at UConn. The Huskies already have a couple wins on the year over BU and Notre Dame. Not a bad little season they’re putting together up in Storrs.
Time To Play A Little Footy
First on deck we have Linus Klasen who has been spending the past few seasons in the Swiss league doing nothing but disrespecting goaltenders like this. Such a quick little move that really just acts as a mind fuck for the goalie more than anything. It’s not like he pulled it so far over to make the tendy second-guess where he was going. But you pull a move like that just to play with his head and it worked perfectly here. So disrespectful that you have to respect it.
Next on the pitch…
Kick sauce through the neutral zone. Then the between-the-legs pass reception, fights off a couple defenders and stuffs it home on the backhand. Fucking Europeans, man. Even when you put them out on the ice, they’re still trying to play soccer.
Jimbo Of The Week
We’re already pretty used to seeing Patrik Laine snipe game winners on the regular. However, we haven’t seen him snipe a game winner on his own team yet so here was a first. Shooters shoot.
The “How The Hell Was That Possible” Of The Week
Nothing about this John Tavares goal makes any sense. Nothing at all. You can read more about it here courtesy of our good pal Kahn Syles.
Goal Call Of The Week
Shoutout to Obadiah for absolutely crushing this goal call. You can’t teach that level of passion and energy.
Blogger Dangle Of The Week
Was supposed to have a beer league game last night but the other team backed out at the last minute like a bunch of bitches. So we used the ice slot as an optional team skate and a chance to brush up on some moves. Quick shoulder fake to the backhand, power finish on the forehead, celly my dick off. Can’t draw it up any better than that.
Stay Saucy, my friends.